The definition of blessing that I choose to cling to when it comes to my cystic fibrosis is “a beneficial thing for which one is grateful; something that brings well-being.”
While most people on the outside looking in would consider me a martyr for thinking my potentially terminal disease is truly a blessing and chance for opportunity, my husband and family would tell you I am far from it.
Cystic fibrosis is one hundred percent a blessing.
Throughout my adolescence, teen-hood, and now adult life, I have been given more opportunities and more opened doors than I can keep a record of. I have been given an incredible platform to advocate for something I love and am passionate about. Yes, you read that correctly. I love my cystic fibrosis.
I would be lying if I didn’t tell you there are days I hate and loathe it. I hate that I was given a life-expectancy of 24 (btw, I’m 25 now!) I hate what it makes me feel like sometimes. I hate how many pills I take on a daily basis (30+). I hate the time-consuming treatments and vest therapy. I hate the insulin pump I have attached to me at all times. I hate the huge scar that cuts my stomach in half and makes me look like I have a giant fat roll when I sit. I hate the scars from my PICC lines in my chest and in my arms. I hate that now when I am on a PICC, I have to take blood thinners. I hate the irreversible damage that’s been done to my lungs. I hate that when I sweat, the salt burns my eyes. I hate the way I’m so comfortable talking about gross bodily functions (yes, I’m talking about poop and gas). I hate the fact that my mom had to give up nearly 2 weeks of work for me to stay with me during hospitalizations throughout my childhood. I hate that I had to BE in the hospital for 2 weeks multiple times throughout my childhood.
But in the midst of all that hatred towards the logistics and things I can’t control about my cystic fibrosis, I LOVE the way it has given me an appreciation for my life. I love the way it causes me to love fiercely and unapologetically. I love the way I have gained new friends and the conversations we have. I love the community I have found amongst people I can vent to, in which others wouldn’t understand why I’m whining. I love the way I was forced to grow up at a young age and learn that there is a sense of maturity necessary to tackle life. I love the way that my parents MADE SURE I had a full and fun childhood, despite my (more often than not) limitations. I love the way I can personally contact my doctor and that there are nurses who make me feel like family when I have an admission. I love the way my husband cares for me and loves me WITH my cf (not despite it). I love my relationship with my parents and family. I love that the doctors are working SO HARD to find a cure for the entire CF community. I love the events we have to raise awareness and to see so many family’s pulling together to support one another. I love my blogging opportunities. I love my speaking opportunities. I love the life that cystic fibrosis has given me because it’s a life that I otherwise may have just wasted.
A blessing can come in many forms. I am grateful that the Lord has given me this opportunity to turn something horrendous into good for His glory. I am grateful to doctors who work so hard to give me a good quality of life. I am blessed to be able to speak into the lives of others with cystic fibrosis and share my heart in battling something no one without it would understand. I am 25 years old and I plan to keep letting CF be a blessing for me until the day (and even after) CF stands for “cure found”.
4 thoughts on “A Blessing in Disguise”
Amye, you’re amazing!! You have a gift and audience and I’m glad you are taking advantage of the opportunity. You are my blessing!!
This is amazing.
This is encouraging and empowering, even for someone without CF. You lead everyone around you to reflect your zeal and go-getter attitude toward life. Thanks for being awesome! 💪🏼
In the short time I’ve known you, I’ve not seen you allow the logistics you contend with limit you from the Lord’s work that you are actively engaged in on a daily basis. Excited for this new platform you will use to encourage many fighting this same battle!