Zach and I took a mini-cay recently and we did absolutely NOTHING.
It was the most glorious getaway we’ve had since our honeymoon a year ago…ironic, because it’s the only one we’ve had since our honeymoon.
We’ve been so busy in this wonderful new season of life, that it was a blessing just to sit and mindlessly stare at the ocean waves.
Our first day on the beach, my husband looks at me and says, “You know, I know reputation is important and we need to make sure we are holding a strong and upright reputation, but I just don’t care what anyone thinks of us anymore. I am happy the way we are. I don’t care what they think about our clothes, hobbies, personalities, or any of it. We are who we are.”
And I was honestly taken back, but in such agreement with him!
I have always been one to beat to the sound of my own drum. Cystic fibrosis has that effect on you. There comes a point in your life when you realize the scars, time-consuming treatments, insulin pump sticking out of your pocket, germ-protecting mask, and coughing will draw attention to you no matter how hard you try to blend in. And when that happens, you can either spend all of your mental health stressing about how you look, and what others think; or you can embrace the unique quirks that make you, YOU.
So when Zach said those words to me, “we are who we are”, I just smiled in agreement.
AND THEN…
The enemy saw a strong vulnerability that he felt the need to pick on.
I have been praying and dreaming about what I want to happen with my blogging, CF advocacy, and sharing my story. I’ve listened to some AMAZING women who have a business of their own or work from home. I’ve gained inspiration, strategy and practical life tips from listening to podcasts, reading books, and stalking Instagram.
But one thing I realized on our car ride home from our mini-cay was just how far I was reading into my own strategies and the way I viewed my own social media and blog.
I am still a newbie at blogger life and, as every other blogger on the web feels I’m sure, I want my site to shine and truly capture my heart; to gain traction and spread CF awareness. I want my blog to relate to another sister who is also struggling with something I am and give her hope!
But at what cost to my uniqueness?
That’s where I lost sight of the main thing. I was talking about deleting my ENTIRE Instagram…and you guys, I have 1,700 photos on my page. 1,700!!! All because I want it to have a certain “look” to it. That’s 7 years of memories and moments that meant enough to me to publicize it.
Zach pretty much told me that was ridiculous (in the most loving way, of course) and that’s when I realized, I was giving in to the exact thing these women who are inspiring me are preaching against.
Theodore Roosevelt says that “comparison is the thief of joy.” And in order to protect my joy, I have to fight against the stronghold that comparison can be.
So to reiterate my husband, it’s time that I stop caring what other people/bloggers/Instagram-mers are doing and be happy the way I have done things. My blog is a direct representation of the person I have become as well as my Instagram page. You can scroll and look through at how I have evolved over the years, and that is a testament to my accomplishments.
I am who I am and I am proud of that.
